The Origins Of Shyness

Some of my best ideas (assuming any of these are good) come from reading Google Ads. You'd think it'd be very stifling not to be able to click on your own ads (Google policy), but actually it's liberating.

Liberating? How so? Because I can see an idea there, not click on it, and therefore not be guilty of any kind of copyright violation by copying their ideas. If I have no idea what they say, everything I have to say about it will be, if not original, at least something that originated with me in its final, precise form. I mean, I doubt, if you Googled this particular paragraph, that anyone else has ever written it precisely word for word.

Moving on, the ad I saw mentioned the origins of shyness. For what? I guess to make the case that people could get over shyness if they really tried. That's what you would be paying them for. Something that you could probably figure out on your own. You're shy, you're not stupid.

Where would shyness come from? This is where it gets hard. Let me think.

Shyness seems to be based in fear, with a lack of personal confidence. You're afraid of launching out, because someone might be critical, then you'd be left looking like a putz. Maybe it'd be a case of rejection, like romantically. Or disagreement, like if you got up to give your opinion about something.

Shyness probably has some elements of comparisons that you're mentally making. I don't stack up well against this person, that person, or those folks. Then it builds on itself, in that I'm mentally reinforced in it by being tentative, withdrawn, and isolated. The more you let it be, the more it grows.

One of the best ways to overcome it is to be prepared, then to launch out slowly. Let's say it has to do with academics, speaking up in class. The more prepared you are, the more confident you are to launch out. The truth is, with teachers, for the most part they are there to affirm whatever you say, if it's at all relevant to the topic at hand and said with sincerity. If they call you stupid in front of the class, report them.

The key thing about speaking up in class, though, is to do it as early as you can in the semester. Because it gets tougher the longer you put it off. So, let's say you're shy, find some area in the class where you can make personal inroads, then launch out modestly, and let that build on itself instead of the shyness.

If you ever have a particular project to present, let's say, and you're shy, remind yourself that you know more about it than anyone else there. They're not prepared at all. So you can have a more confident point of view during your presentation.