George Washington's Birthday

It's George Washington's birthday. I believe it is. This is the date we learned in school.

But I know it's more complicated with his birthday than it is with the rest of us. Because they did some freaky thing with the calendar back then sometime. Like deleting a bunch of days to get the calendar back in whack with the sun (or something).

According to some reckoning, this is his birthday. So there you have it. Big deal. What a thing to teach kids in school, the exact birthday of a former president. We also learned Lincoln's, again for some unknown reason. Back then they thought of interesting, useful historical knowledge as particular dates to memorize.

As to the rest of George Washington's life, we know he cut down a cherry tree and would not lie about it. Meaning he was dishonest, in that he had to assure someone he wouldn't lie. If he had been honest, it would've never occurred to him that he could lie. It would've been, "Of course I cut it down, you got a problem with that?"

He was also a very suspicious person, always standing up in boats, because he suspected his soldiers would put a whoopee cushion under him if he tried to sit down.

The last thing he was very famous for was looking like Barbara Bush.