Determination and Self Interest

I like to hear resolutions from people when they've had a down time -- a very negative transitional time, let's call it -- that from now on things are going to be different. You hear words like this, "I'm never going to be in that situation again. I'm going to" do this and that and the other thing. You have to encourage it and hope they stick to it.

I think it'd be good to write down those plans and read them the first thing in the morning. And maybe even have a journal of some of your craziest times to read to remind yourself of the misery you've been through. It's a terrible thing to be down and out, personally, emotionally, and financially. That's a big one because with just emotional things you have options moment to moment. Being down and out financially means suffering for a longer time, because money doesn't just appear.

But when you got it, when you get it, keep it. Have the determination that having it is power, the power of independence, the power of owning yourself. I was talking to someone who was staying with someone, friends, but doing that you outstay your welcome before you know it. (As for myself I'd be thinking of this issue the first day, but not everyone does. They think it really is a time for convalescence, when it is a transitional time that needs to be gotten through as quickly as possible.) Pretty soon it becomes clear that you are at their mercy, that that's no place to be.

So the bottom line is take charge of your life, don't be anyone's victim (including your own victim, like with self-destructive behavior), strive for and achieve independence, and look out for your self interest all the way down the line. You'll be a lot happier for it.

One big problem people have is with over spending. That's making yourself a victim. I'm not a rich guy, but I know that having your head above water is power. And the more you're up and out of it, not being submerged, but up, high and dry, the better off you'll be.