Zippity-Do-Dah

Moses' wife was named Zipporah. The first woman to ever say "Help me with this zipper, dear."

"Zip your lip, honey."

Speaking of honey, they were headed for the land of milk and honey. But Moses was almost killed by God when he failed to circumcise his son. So Zipporah stepped in quickly and did it. "Honey, I Circumcised The Kid."

The Obscure Side Roads

Sometimes I forget that my little blogs are on the very obscure side roads of the internet. Since I'm here everyday, of course, to me these are familiar. But it actually looks like it takes some effort to get here. If you search for just the right phrases -- like maybe "The Obscure Side Roads" today -- I place pretty high on the results. Otherwise, I'm down in the mix with everyone else.

And since I hardly ever make it to everyone else's place on the obscure side roads, there's no real reason why they should make it to mine. But I'm here, by cracky, and not leaving anytime soon.

I'm always kind of amazed when I hear about terrorist trackers, that they're able to keep track of blogs (I think) and websites that come and go in a matter of seconds (I imagine). But something that's here and never leaves, there's no such attention given. It all depends on what you're looking for.

I was trying to check some of the obscure side roads at YouTube today. I was looking for music videos by average people, ones that only had three or four (or no) prior views. That means you have to look at the "Recent" videos, just posted. Otherwise, there's lots of stuff from big record companies that dominates the opening page.

I found a few, including a teen band practicing somewhere. That wasn't too interesting, but a little. Also a couple of girls, individual videos, singing to songs on their stereo. They weren't very interesting either. But it was something that was different. The obscurity at least was refreshing.

Kafka's Assistants

I've been watching the Elvis movie "Double Trouble." It's kind of a freaky movie. It's got strange (apparent) undercover agents, cartoonish thieves, and weird assistants.

It's the assistants I'm thinking of tonight. They were a comedy team, I guess, called "The Wiere Brothers." They are dressed like secret agents, in matching cream colored trench coats. And if you don't look closely they're virtually indistinguishable, like three men in one.

They remind me of the assistants in Kafka's writings, I guess this would be "The Castle." They're there, they're assisting, but their assistance isn't any good. They do unusual things and it doesn't follow the usual logic.

It's a different kind of movie.

Free Psychic Advice

I saw a Google ad on one of my blogs for "Free Psychic Advice." I didn't click it, of course, since that's against the rules.

I wonder how hard it is to offer psychic advice. I think anyone could do it reasonably well, especially on the internet. You just give them a general line about following their dreams, aspiring to big goals, and being assured of success, and you've got a happy customer.

It's all in the stars. Or it's all in the cards. It's all somewhere. I could make a list of about 400 different things, then pull a number out of a hat and that's your advice. The first one is free. Come back tomorrow and it goes to my PayPal account.

I'll give you some free advice. Avoid psychics. Because the answer's already in you. All you need to do is use your imagination and work at it. You can do it. Follow your dreams, set big goals for yourself, and I think you'll probably be successful. And if you're not, hey, it was free advice.

An Ice Storm

We're about to enter another Ice Age, starting tonight, in the land where I live.

According to the map and "Weather In Motion," the Ice cometh, no mention of the Iceman.

So if anyone thinks of it, tonight would be a good night to set the ice trays outside. Hey, free ice!

Do I want this extreme weather? No, not really. But what can I do about it?

I just hope we're OK, that power lines stay up where they're supposed to. That it's not so thick that limbs start falling. And that people don't plow into each other when they lose traction. I've had some of that problem driving around and it's not all that icy, just the snow melting and refreezing. It's still ice, but it's got sand and salt from previous passings of the city guys mixed with it. What comes out of the sky tonight will be pure and indiscriminate.

If it happens, again, there's nothing I can do about it. Just stay in and stay safe. I stocked up on groceries.

By morning I shall see. What if it's "Icy as far as I See?" Ha ha.

Massachusetts, Six Years Is A Long Time

Please vote for the Democrat. To have a Republican senator in there for six years, mucking things up like a vandal, is a long time to suffer.

It's not worth it. The Republicans can't be trusted.

Put The Bone In

I've had the 45 rpm record of Terry Jacks' "Seasons in the Sun" for decades and had still never heard the flip side, "Put The Bone In."

When I was a kid we used to listen to records, the A side and the B side, over and over.

But at some point when I grew up I focused more on the A side. Not in every case but usually.

I was busy recording some of my 45s to MP3s and decided I may as well try this flip side. So I did.

"Put The Bone In" in my opinion is not a very good song. It sounds like one of those throwaway songs you might make up in the shower or driving down the road. The title is awful, in the first place, but funny sounding. Then the song itself is silly.

The story of it is that a woman's doggie has been hit by a car. She's at the market and buying some pork, and begs the meat guy for the pork bone for her dog. Why she would have to beg for it escapes me. Why not just buy the bone while buying the meat?

I've heard it now three or four times. It's short, less than two minutes.

My Billing Off By 30 Cents

This morning I had some bookwork, our billing. It was a little more complicated because of some tax payments, so I was dealing with checks, tax forms, and the rest of my bills.

I thought I was being meticulous. It all had to fit together like a 1000 piece puzzle. I kept going back, backtracking, adding up columns of figures, then re-adding them to double check everything. At one point I was a little upset with myself because I can never trust myself the first time through. I have the question, If you don't trust yourself the first time through, how can you be so sure about the second time? Some of this stuff only needs to be done once ... because I do have some basic competence.

But I kept going at it, and eventually, guess what, I botched it by 30 cents. Meaning my deposit needed another 30 cents in addition to the checks in order to keep me from having to redo the whole thing, the forms, etc.

It's no big deal to walk around the house and find 30 cents. I couldn't do it an infinite number of times, of course, but once is usually manageable. But the point is, with all my backtracking, double checking, and care, it should've come out exact. Somewhere along the line I let down my guard!

Jay's Getting The Show Again

I didn't watch before -- it's past my bedtime.

But if I would've been up at that time, I would make a special point not to watch now.

Jay Leno is dead to me now. (He never was especially alive to me, for the above reasons. But now I'll have a bad attitude against the creep.)

The show belonged to Conan. Anyone who takes it away from him ... is dead to me.

People Walking In The Dark

Step by step, here they come. Walking, and making pretty good progress at that.

I'm cautious when I'm out with the dog. I don't want to be in anyone's way. I don't want them to come upon us and have to get by. One, the dog freaks out when that happens. Two, I'd just soon stay to myself. You be on that side of the road and I'll be on this side.

Tonight I saw someone coming from about a block away. You never know if they'll turn off somewhere else. Or if they'll look up ahead and see a shadowy guy with a shadowy dog and go to the other side of the street. That's what I'd do.

So I'm watching the dog and trying to hurry her up AND keeping track of the shadowy person advancing closer, ever closer. Why is walking such a fast thing? It's amazing the progress you can making just walking.

The dog doesn't know what's going on. She's not looking that far. This is my concern alone. So she doesn't know why I'm trying to rush her and get her to the corner so we can get to our own spot of safety.

This time we made it. The dog took a poop at the corner, I got it scooped up, then hustled her across the road. We still had plenty of time to spare ... and still the form advanced on.

I came back across the street, let the dog in the house, and went to put the garbage out. I looked way down the road, then back to the original spot, then down the road that goes off to the south, but the shadowy form was nowhere to be seen. That's something else that gets to me. How a person can walk right up on you, presumably be within sight somewhere, and yet you can't see them. It's like a magic disappearing act.