Rage

We've all heard of road rage. It's one of those diagnosed conditions that comes about in society occasionally. Like when anything comes along -- video games, cell phones, iPods -- there's some downside to it that shows itself. Kids with wrist problems, hearing loss.

Road rage has probably always existed. Two stagecoaches met and one driver was stabbed. Fortunately we're going fast enough now that it's hard to stab someone. It pops up most noticeably when the roads are clogged with people and we all want to get somewhere. I think driving wouldn't be half bad if it weren't for other drivers.

I was feeling a different kind of rage today, and watch for it, the designation is coming, as prices go up, as people try to do more shopping at one time because of high gas prices. You'll be in the check out lines in stores with people having twice as much stuff in their cart more often. Checkout lane rage. It's coming. I felt it today.

We went to one of the big stores. Starts with a W and ends with Mart. And for some unknown reason -- maybe something of what I just said above -- there were twice as many people there as usual, blocking up the aisles, kids running screaming, all those cash registers with their incessant beeping, old, coughing, slow checkout people. And you start thinking this is ridiculous. I can't make it through this line. Even the self-serve checkout stations -- which people used to avoid -- are full.

What would the rage look like? Well, I don't do anything like that. It's more just internalizing it, thinking I need to avoid this in the future as much as possible. But there are a lot of people out there who are already on the edge. I don't know. I can see them ramming a shopping cart into your back. Verbal abuse. Especially, let's say you have someone with a screaming kid in their cart, and they have a full cart, and they look up, and there's five people already in line. It could be we'll need some psychologists on staff out there, or turn up the soothing music, or hire more checkout people.

This is a rage that's coming. The real solution might be to get up at 3 in the morning and buy your groceries then.