Garage Sales for McCain

There was to be a fundraiser for Sen. John McCain Tuesday in Arizona, but it was canceled after poor ticket sales, with no one wanting to come. The headliner at this event was to be the ever-popular President George W. Bush. (Pardon me, I need to scold the people of Arizona for a moment. Don't you know this is a man of history and destiny? He's president! He's going to be on commemorative plates someday. He'll be on that list of presidents your kids have to memorize in fifth grade.) President Bush has fallen on some hard times. 9/11 was the high point of his presidency, and from there it's been all downhill. He used to handpick his audiences, but I always thought that was more for selectness rather than necessity. Shame on you, Arizona!

The article about this says, "Tickets to the event were to range from $1,000 to $25,000 for VIP treatment. Money was to go toward McCain's presidential bid and a number of Republican Party organs." Organs? Are the Republicans looking for organ donors? I knew McCain was old and in bad shape, but I had no idea he was that far gone.

We must bring in money! Although the $1,000 to $25,000 stuff is probably out. My idea is how about garage sales for McCain? Like, if you're having a garage sale, direct the money to make up for the failure of his other fundraiser. Isn't it worth getting rid of some of your stuff for a good cause? CDs you don't want, old candle holders, trivets, pictures off the wall, that old sofa in the den, bars of soap from motels, whatever you can get together. Price it to sell, in the 25 cents to $1.00 range. And we'll have ourselves a president!