Bigfoot

They discovered Bigfoot the other day. It turns out he's just a guy who wears a hairy rubber suit. All these years he's been jumping out, scaring people, and somehow just managing to have every photo of him be blurry and indistinct. (The way you do that is a lot of side to side action when they're taking the picture, or just be super nervous.)

Some other guys, it appears, must have chased him down and stripped him of his suit. At least I heard it the other day, that they turned it in for a reward and were keeping it in the freezer so it wouldn't -- I don't know -- be any warmer than necessary.

As for the Bigfoot guy, now stripped, we're picturing him as a lonely hunter in a cabin in the woods, using this Bigfoot disguise to keep the forest all to himself. But now that we know it's just him, we can take over his forest, let the heavy equipment raze his shack, and develop it as a housing project or a new mall. Progress must go on.

I didn't catch his name. But whoever he is, he had a good thing going for a while. But as with everything, eventually you get caught. The really good news is we have nothing left to fear from Bigfoot. And that's one big step forward for the rest of us.