Random Names Virus Tweets (Collect Them All)

There's something wrong with my PAULSON computer. Like right there RICKY. I'm typing along and it inserts a name at random BERTHA.

As far as I can GLENN tell it's stealing from my 140 MARGARET characters. So if WEN HO LEE I have a thought, I need to THOMAS TRAIN abbrevia

This stupid thing POLLY! This has to be a virus BUSCHMACHER. Buschmacher? Is that even a name. Probably. GERMANIC FLU. That's ridiculous.

PILSON. That just popped up. SAM ADAMS. It's getting worse TONY. I'm pulling the plug LILLIAN. The backspace JAMES ST. JAMES doesn't work.

ADDAMS FAMILY. WEN HO LEE. Wen Ho Lee? Isn't that the guy who was accused of being a spy? And found not guilty. RED SOVINE. Teddy Bear guy?

It's maddening. JOHANNA. Where's it getting these names? HENRIKSSON. Looks Swedish but I've never been there. I shower so I don't swed.

PAGLIACCI. RENFIELD. Renfield I know. He's the fly eating DECLAN guy from Dracula, not DECLAN. Isn't that ELVIS Costello's name?

I need to turn it off MARGARET. Weird stupid computer. Stupid FLINTSTONE computer. Bye.

The Truck From Ho Land Is Here

A fresh shipment just came in! The sign was missing an L. It caught my eye.

Mike Huckabee's Disastrous Joke

I can't believe it. Mike Huckabee jokes about Obama diving to avoid gunshot in an imaginary assassination attempt.

I watched the video at CNN, and he's going on in a very demur way, pandering to the NRA but apparently in sincerity and without malice. He's used to making speeches, sermons. He's got the goods when it comes to personal restraint, more or less. But suddenly there's a loud noise backstage and he comes out with a totally worthless quip about Barack Obama diving for the floor because someone's pointing a gun at him. It makes you wonder. How did Huckabee have that thought cued up and ready to go at a second's notice?

I know how it goes when you're giving a speech. You feel like joking around, but this is a place for caution, because afterwards (maybe 30 seconds afterwards) you're kicking yourself, wondering, 'Why did I say that stupid thing?' But Huckabee melted right back into his serious policy pandering and appeared oblivious to the disaster that his quip was. (I quit watching about 20 seconds after the quip, so if he realized his stupidity and apologized, I missed it.)

This is a disaster for Mike Huckabee. This is something a serious presidential or vice presidential candidate should not be joking about. It is sickening, and I hate all joking about presidential assassinations (or candidates).

We're coming up on the 40th anniversary of Bobby Kennedy being gunned down, in early June. And it wasn't funny. Or MLK or JFK. Not funny at all.

I'm a Democrat, but I wanted to punch a guy out who I worked with at the time when President Reagan was shot. The guy made a joke about it, like he thought it was a good thing. And I'm still steamed about it just thinking of this idiot.